The local Native Americans quickly proved to be very disappointing
Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2025 8:10 am
History
In the 10th century, the famous Viking Leif Ericson ventured far west, his longship cleaving the waves until unknown lands appeared before him. Landing with his crew on a beach, Ericson discovered a major logistical problem: as a Viking, he had no flag to plant to mark his territory, and a pee in the sand was too ephemeral. No matter: finding a local, he planted his axe in his mouth to put an end to the formalities of planting things in things, then established a village there. However,
They don't have any Frankish monasteries, so what can they plunder?
They don't have any beer, so what should they drink?
They don't have sheep, so how do they mate?
Since Viking breeding required a large number of goats, the colony was sterile and phone number library quickly died out. It would take several centuries for new adventurers to invade this mysterious land, and this would finally happen with Jacques Cartier.
Indeed, at the beginning of the 16th century, English ships set sail to colonize the New World. They quickly forced the Native Americans to bow down by repelling them with modern weapons as deadly as pudding or mint jelly, and settled in these rich and wonderful lands of North America, claiming to civilize the savages. Upon learning of this, the King of France raised his eyebrows a little and decided that it was time to move on to phase II of colonization: civilizing the English. He therefore sent his best man, Jacques Cartier, winner of the national dictation competition for middle school students in 1503, and ordered him to go to the north of the New World to establish a new colony. The King still took the opportunity to foist on him, in the hold, everything that was no longer wanted in France: criminals, beggars, and of course, hipsters (which would later explain the Canadian taste for plaid shirts). The mission starts off very strongly since, from the outset, Jacques Cartier names the new province " Canada ", he notes that the English immediately steal the name without thinking. Jacques Cartier therefore launches into a series of jokes, trying to make the English adopt a whole bunch of stupid names without them realizing it: certain archival documents attribute to Jacques Cartier the invention of the county of Sussex, or even the discovery of Uranus (although the debate still rages, some claiming that the latter subject is above all in the domain of speleology, while others insist on the fact that as an expert on colonists, Jacques Cartier remains the best placed to deal with the subject).
In the 10th century, the famous Viking Leif Ericson ventured far west, his longship cleaving the waves until unknown lands appeared before him. Landing with his crew on a beach, Ericson discovered a major logistical problem: as a Viking, he had no flag to plant to mark his territory, and a pee in the sand was too ephemeral. No matter: finding a local, he planted his axe in his mouth to put an end to the formalities of planting things in things, then established a village there. However,
They don't have any Frankish monasteries, so what can they plunder?
They don't have any beer, so what should they drink?
They don't have sheep, so how do they mate?
Since Viking breeding required a large number of goats, the colony was sterile and phone number library quickly died out. It would take several centuries for new adventurers to invade this mysterious land, and this would finally happen with Jacques Cartier.
Indeed, at the beginning of the 16th century, English ships set sail to colonize the New World. They quickly forced the Native Americans to bow down by repelling them with modern weapons as deadly as pudding or mint jelly, and settled in these rich and wonderful lands of North America, claiming to civilize the savages. Upon learning of this, the King of France raised his eyebrows a little and decided that it was time to move on to phase II of colonization: civilizing the English. He therefore sent his best man, Jacques Cartier, winner of the national dictation competition for middle school students in 1503, and ordered him to go to the north of the New World to establish a new colony. The King still took the opportunity to foist on him, in the hold, everything that was no longer wanted in France: criminals, beggars, and of course, hipsters (which would later explain the Canadian taste for plaid shirts). The mission starts off very strongly since, from the outset, Jacques Cartier names the new province " Canada ", he notes that the English immediately steal the name without thinking. Jacques Cartier therefore launches into a series of jokes, trying to make the English adopt a whole bunch of stupid names without them realizing it: certain archival documents attribute to Jacques Cartier the invention of the county of Sussex, or even the discovery of Uranus (although the debate still rages, some claiming that the latter subject is above all in the domain of speleology, while others insist on the fact that as an expert on colonists, Jacques Cartier remains the best placed to deal with the subject).